The Darkness Within
by DarkSerapha
Summary: (YAOI - Goku x Vejita - Warning: R for a reason!) Goku sets out for a dangerous journey into Vejita's past - what has happened to the saiyan prince to make him who he is? Goku is determined to find out.. Request to my readers! Please help!
1. Part 1: Fury released

**Author:** DarkSerapha 

**Email:** Mononokehime@gmx.net 

**Genre: **Dragonball Z - Yaoi 

**Pairing: **Son Goku x Vejita 

**Warning: **for this chapter mainly angst and violence, later on there's lime, lemon and rape to follow. This is epic. Veeeery long story. Thou hast been warned… 

**This is a story about Yaoi. This means male to male intimacy. Yes, you heard right, two guys making love. So don't like, don't read. Don't flame! If you like it, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: **

As always I am trying to think up something incredibly funny and clever to say here, but since I want to save all my cleverness for the story, I am just being plain here: I don't own DBZ. Never have. Probably never will, though that might rapidly change, when I get my hands on that beautiful seven orange balls.. 

**-----------------------------------------------~oO Honors Oo~--------------------------------------------------**

**This story is dedicated to the memory of**

**Alithiel (†Decembre 2002),**

**author of "Shadows of the Past".**

**Alithiel, I will never forget you. May the heavens smile upon you. You have changed my life with your art. You were taken from us much too soon. May your beautiful soul fly with the angels in all eternity.**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Note:** This story takes place about 10 years after the incidents of the Boo-Saga. But the last tournament has never happened. Bra has not been born. Dragonball GT has no importance whatsoever to this story. 

I translated this story from german, english is not my native language, so please be patient with me. 

Und für die deutschen Leser: Diese Geschichte ist dieselbe wie "Schattenseele". 

**Thanks to Azurite, my faithful beta-reader and dear friend, who helps me with translating. *big hug!**

**The Darkness within**

Part1: Fury released 

_From narrowed eyes, Son Goku stared at the big pink blob which had been Boo up to now. He knew the demon just wanted to ridicule them with regenerating that slowly. Impatiently his eyes darted towards Vejita. The older saiyajin stood about twenty feet away from him, holding the potara in his right hand, visibly unsure of what to do. It was clear that he couldn't bring himself to take the last step and fuse with Son Goku. Son Goku saw the contradicting emotions on the face of his former enemy and now battle fellow. Disgust changed into hatred, which changed again into disgust, and under all that lay the knowledge that there was no other way._

"Vejita…!"_ Son Goku called out urgently, always keeping an eye on Boo who slowly regained his old shape. There was not much time anymore, for the demon would soon be fully regenerated, and their last chance would perish. Vejita shot one of his trademark icy glances to Son Goku, but it had no effect whatsoever on the earth-raised saiyajin. He saw the urge and the pleading expression in the other's face and grumbled. This was the last thing he wanted to do, fusing with this failure, this low class baka, which, were they still on Vejita-sei, would never even have been allowed to raise his eyes to the prince of all saiyajin. But Vejita had felt Boo's power and knew he was inferior to him – and he hated it. He hated it more than anything in the world. He hated it as much as he hated being inferior to Kakarott, that naïve baka which was ranked so very low beneath him. Vejita's proud saiyan heart cramped at the very thought of being inferior to goddamn anyone! He remembered an old saiyan saying his father, Vejiita-no-Ou, had once told him:_

Your enemy's enemy is your friend until this enemy of both of you is defeated.  
Afterwards kill them all without mercy. 

_He grumbled again, knowing he had no choice. His left glove clasped around the potara. Boo had almost fully regenerated. He hesitated, then slowly raised his hand to his ear and was rewarded with a stunning grin on Kakarott's face, which didn't seem to fit the seriousness of the moment at all. That naïve baka… After Boo was defeated, Vejita would surely have to finally take care of him… and this time he would end it for good. Before he could decide against it, he quickly began to fix the potara on his right ear._

_Son Goku smiled as he noticed that Vejita had finally come to a decision – just in time. Pondering, he touched the potara dangling on his left ear…Boo was now completely healed and had taken notice of their actions. He sped towards them with bloodlust glistening in his mad black eyes, clearly wanting to end this annoying battle once and for all._

We can do it! Together we can beat him! 

_,the thought shot through Goku's brain. Suddenly he remembered what the old kaioshin had told him:_

This fusion can not be undone – it is permanent…

"Vejita! I gotta tell you something… it's important! This fusion is irreversible…!" 

_Goku saw the older saiyajin's face darken in surprise and imagined hearing him shout something like "And now you tell me, baka…!?", but the same second the potara finally caught hold on Vejita's ear and both of them were suddenly blinded by a brilliant blue light radiating from their bodies, which made Boo retreat instinctively. Weird. Goku spotted Vejita's face through the blue radiance and saw the surprised expression on it – and it also seemed to bear another expression… Fear…? No, that was impossible, never within Vejita, it had to be a hallucination… Vejita's lips moved and Goku managed to hear the words "Is this allright?" He smiled at his former arch-fiend._

"Thank you, Vejita. It's wonderful." 

_And then the light closed in, permeated them, pulled them together and the world ceased to exist…_

Drenched in sweat, Goku awoke with a start. It took him some time until he realized that it all had just been a dream, a memory of a fight that had happened long years ago, true, but still – nothing but a dream. He drew a deep breath and sank back into the fluffy pillow on top of his bed. It was totally unintelligible to him why this memory kept coming back uninvited after so many years. He closed his eyes. In his mind he saw an image of Vejito, fusion-form of himself and Vejita, as he had been described to him by others. He himself had no memories of this, just a blank space where there should be a memory of the time he had spent fused with Vejita. This was always the case with fusions. All he did remember was the feeling of great power, as the potaras sprang into action and pulled them together, and the bright light that had surrounded them. It had been an indescribable feeling. Maybe this had been the first time in his life he had truly felt whole, complete.. but this was nonsense, of course. He decided not to trail along this path of thought any more, not to waste any more time in idle dreaming. 

Goku shook his head and decided that since he was already awake, he could very well start the day with an early breakfast. Looking on the clock beside his bed he saw that breakfast-time was not quite as far away as he had presumed after his sudden wake. It was already half past four in the morning. Still, saiyajin were always hungry, so it did not really make any difference which time of the day it really was. Outside the birds had not yet awoken to their usual morning sing-along, but Son Goku was quite used to get up early and to greet the rising sun while taking a first early-morning-training-session. On his way to the kitchen he passed by Son Goten's bedroom. He stopped and listened until he heard the deep regular breathing of his youngest son. Goku smiled slightly as he imagined his son lying on the bed, cuddled into his sleets like a hedgehog, a big breathing pile of softness. Still smiling he continued to make his way to the kitchen. 

Goku was, to be true, more than just a little concerned about his younger son. The death of his mother had shocked him most of all three Sons. Goten never had been an easy child, his whole childhood being shadowed by fights. Though he was good-hearted and open, he had gotten himself in quite some trouble over the years – mostly with the aid of Trunks, his best friend. Goten's older brother Son Gohan had found his peace, finally accepting his still unmatched power, but burying it deep within him, and vowing never ever to use it again. He had turned away from fighting, finally having the time to devote himself to quiet studying, as he had always wanted to. Goku smiled again, thinking of Gohan's and Videl's marriage – this had been such a happy day, full of laughter… Chichi had been so very pleased – so happy… It still hurt Son Goku to think of his wife, who had passed away so very recently. Much too early, it seemed to him. And even so Goku and his wife had not agreed in opinion for years, even if she had been touchy to the limit, a demanding mother to her sons, and not an easy match for her husband, he had loved her in his own way. And he knew, that she had deeply loved him and their two sons, maybe more than life itself. Deep down inside she had been a very passionate yet kind woman, even if she had not been able to show this at all times. Goku knew perfectly well that he was not completely irresponsible for her change of attitude. He had left her alone – so very often – and he had gotten her into danger. When returning from the dead after seven years, the young, pugnacious girl who had once literally talked him into marrying her, had turned into a crestfallen woman, who was filled with bitterness upon the task of bringing up two children all on her own. And even after that... he had not been able to save her from the horrors of Boos reign and that had not been the last of the fights. For some blessed years earth had enjoyed peace now, and Chichi had started to open up again, starting to resemble the girl he once had known. She had not been so very panicky about her sons anymore, giving them more space to breathe, and he had been able to sometimes peer at the strong passionate young girl with the big humour and the romantic dreams, that was still locked deep down inside, trying to come out… And then, just about half a year ago… 

An accident, so very common, so trivial, so unbelievably unpredictable, that nobody would ever have thought that it might happen to one of their little group. Goten had begged, had wanted to look for the dragonballs to resurrect his mother, but Dende had intervened and, unbelievably, Son Gohan had supported him. It had not been an unnatural death, it just had been her time to go, King Enma, the master of the netherworld, had told them. She was awaited on the elysian fields of the afterlife. It was how it should be. Goten had cried and screamed in rage and finally given in to the Namekian god and his own brother. Goku had been standing aside, not able to take part in this, just trying to comfort his son, but not even shedding a tear. It had just felt... right, as if Chichi was happier where she was now, finally redeemed of all bitterness. 

Son Goku was not to concede that he felt utterly heartbroken and lonely. Chichi had been his only love so far, and he missed her a great deal, though she had never been the completion of his soul, the soul-mate he had always hoped she would turn out to be. But without her, he felt even more broken and shattered than ever before. Son Gohan and Videl had their own little family, happily living their own lives and caring for his sweet granddaughter Pan, whom he loved very much. Goku was very relieved that at least he still got Goten. If only the boy had not been so very melancholic these days. Chichi's death was still gnawing on his insides and also was the simple truth that he did not really make any progress in his training. In total opposition to Son Gohan, who had avoided fighting whenever possible and turned away from the lust of the battle so very unlike his saiyan ancestors, Goten had fully inherited the absolute will to succeed, which was so much trademark of the saiyajin. But being as it was, he undoubtedly could neither compete with his father nor brother when ki was involved and he knew. The final edge was that Goten even was hopelessly inferior to Trunks, his best friend and son of Vejita. That was very hard for him. Goku sighed heavily. Then he opened up the refrigerator, shoving half of its content onto the kitchen table and starting to eat, while still being deeply buried in thoughts. 

Outside it was already dawning and afterwards Goku had devoured everything within his reach, he went upstairs to change from his normal sleeping clothes, which consisted of a slack dark blue pair of trousers, into his normal training outfit, the orange gi with blue shirt and wristbands, and then leaving the house for his daily morning warm-up. He quickly flew to the big round clearing in the forest not far from his home which he used for his lonely training-sessions and instantly started to go through some of his easier katas to warm up his muscles. An hour later he had started to sweat very lightly, the upper part of the gi already having been removed and carelessly thrown over the branch of a nearby tree, and the rising morning-sun trailing kisses along the naked skin of his muscular torso, as his movements got faster and faster. Punches and kicks followed successively and by now the pressure of the moving air already was enough to make all the surrounding tree's leaves whisper excitedly and to let smaller branches crack. Son Goku honestly enjoyed the effortlessness with which his muscles responded to the light training by expanding and stretching. Tiny beads of sweat glistened on his naked skin and added to the outlining of every single powerful muscle. The morning-sun cast delicate shadows on his naked skin, and small reflexes shone on every movement as Son Goku intensified the speed of his kata. If the clearing had not been as big as it was (the forest had already had to surrender to earlier training-sessions), from the sheer power of Goku's movements most of the trees would have been chopped down by now. Goku decided that it was enough of idle playing and without any delay his ki powered up, his hair growing upwards, taking the colour of ripe corn, his eyes turning the colour of light aquamarine. 

He continued his training as SSJ at extraordinary speed, which the normal human eye was doomed to fail in following. This would have had the strange effect to appear to an unexpecting wanderer walking the woods, as if there was a very local tornado rampaging in this special clearing, sometimes revealing a flash of orange or gold. 

Suddenly the vortex on the clearing stopped and Son Goku reappeared, arms folded over his slightly heaving chest and looking thoughtfully. He wasn't even really out of breath. Training was just too easy like this. Without any opponent nor challenge its just wasn't any fun to him. 

Son Goku was thinking about flying to Capsule Corporation and asking Bulma's parents if they would let him use the Gravitation Chamber. He needed… aggravated conditions.. the only other possibility was to find himself a suiting sparring partner. The greatest challenge was of course Vejita. Unintentionally the dream from this night came into his mind. It had been quite a while since they had sparred… Suddenly Son Goku realized that he was actually missing Vejita. When Chichi was still alive, they had been sparring almost every day, the older saiyajin being as sniffy, stubborn and tight-lipped as ever, but still... Son Goku had had the feeling that the prince somehow... cared about this spars, as if he... liked them or even needed them in a way. Son Goku had been isolating himself from the world after Chichi had passed away… probably because he felt a little bit guilty. He had not been able to prevent her death and he had caused her sorrow and grief in her life. Nevertheless Vejita had been the only one he had still met after her death – he tended to avoid the other Z-senshis, he had to admit – probably, because Vejita was the only one who would not condolence or want him to speak about his misery, but who just wanted him to plain fight. 

Vejita... he had lost someone too... they all had. Bulma had died during a fire in her laboratory four years ago, when one of her inventions had accidentally backfired and exploded. Vejita had always dissembled about if her death had touched his heart, and he had sardonically and rigorously refused to tolerate any condolence addressed to him, instead deferring them to Trunks who had suffered a lot because of his mothers death. Since then he had been living with Trunks in Capsule Corporation, along with Bulma's parents, who had asked him to stay and bring up his son. 

Son Goku made a decision. He snatched his top and put it on and then took off into the sky, leaving behind a trail of pure energy. Quickly he reached Capsule Corp. He hit the ground in front of the front door, and had just stepped over to knock, when he heard loud voices yelling inside. 

The door was slammed open and Trunks stood in front of him, his bright red head turned around to face his father, who was leaning on the backside wall, arms folded over his muscular chest and wearing his usual disgusted stoic kiss-my-ass-expression. 

"You're such an egoistic bastard, father, and you know it! It was not a big deal, all I asked for was for you to show up, but you never want to do anything with me besides training! That was the last time I'll ever ask you to come to school! I hate you!" Trunks screamed in rage, then turned and stomped out of the door, not even noticing a very dazzled Son Goku, who quickly stepped aside, one hand still upraised to knock as the furious teenager took off into the sky, visibly squirming as he heard the words of his father trailing behind him: "Ungrateful brat!". Trunks nearly exploded gaining up speed and was out of sight within seconds. 

Son Goku put his hand behind his head and scratched in confusion. He did not understand what had just happened here, but as he felt Vejita's ice-cold glare now settling upon him he put on his usual naive smile and entered the room. He decided that it might be healthier not to mention what just had happened. 

"What do you want." Vejita's voice was completely drained of emotions. 

"Uh.. err.. I just wanted to ask.. if you.. umm.. feel like having a little spar?" 

The chill in Vejita's glare momentarily paralyzed Son Goku until he was very relieved to see the prince stepping away from the wall and without a word passing him stepping outside. 

With a enormous rebound of energy he took of, one hand being outstretched and slightly writhed fingers ordering Goku to follow the prince. A short flight later they arrived at a grand square of unoccupied space deep within the gardens of Capsule Corp. The floor had been completely levelled and no plants had been able to survive within a range of some hundred feet. Huge walls were shielding the place from the surroundings and trees were keeping of unwanted curious looks. This was Vejita's private sparring place. 

They hadn't even touched the ground when Vejita suddenly turned, instantly transforming into a super-saiyajin and attacking a very surprised Son Goku. He dodged the first punch, using the opportunity to transform into level one too and shortly afterwards both saiyajin were entangled in a ruthless fight. Son Goku was very surprised by the harshness of Vejita's attacks. Either he had made an impressive progress within the last half of a year or he was for some reason really pissed off. Much too soon to be convenient Goku had to advance to level two to avoid the lot of Vejita's assaults. Now being much more agile than his opponent he used the chance to throw a hard uppercut towards Vejita's chin, which threw the other against one of the boundary walls. Somewhat exhausted, Son Goku waited for Vejita to recover, since this was supposed to be a friendly spar, and was totally caught off guard when the prince burst into SSJ2 with a roar and, suddenly appearing in Goku's back, dashed him double-fisted into the ground. Goku narrowly escaped by flipping sideways, while fractions of a second later Vejita's elbow crashed into the very space where his head had been, creating a crater of impressive size. Son Goku quickly got to his feet as fast as possible and dodged a dastardly kick that was flung at him sideways. Vejita bent down and threw some sand of the ground straight into Goku's eyes, using this dirty little trick to blind his opponent momentarily so that he could place a punch with brutal force into the guts making Goku fly backwards at least a hundred feet. Much faster than the human eye he reappeared behind his stunned rival and before Goku was able to recover he was thrown into the air by a vicious kick that made his ribs give off a sickening sound. Son Goku tried to stop his flight mid-air, but was already welcomed by Vejita, who threw him towards earth once again with a double-fisted slamming punch. Son Goku impacted into the ground which caused lots of dust to rise and pieces of stone and earth to fly around as if a bomb had exploded. Goku was nearly out of breath. He could not understand why Vejita was so overaggressive today. Just as he struggled to get up he was hit by a ki-blast aiming for him and another and another. Vejita was nonstop firing ki-blasts at his former – and, by the looks of it, probably still - arch-fiend. Son Goku screamed in rage and transformed to SSJ 3. In the blink of an eye he had vanished and turned up again closely behind Vejita, who did not turn fast enough to dodge the powerful kick that sent him crashing into the ground. This time Son Goku did not allow him to recover, having made this mistake already, but followed in hot pursuit and launched punch upon punch at the prince. Just when he thought that he was ready for the final one, he was hit by an enormous wave of energy which took him off his feet and sent him tumbling for some hundred feet. Breathing heavily he got up and searched for the prince. 

Vejita did not know why he was fighting with such a fierce force against Kakarott today. All he knew was that he did not want to think, that his head was empty only when he fought at top speed and with full force and that this was the best he could hope for at the moment. That had always been the best he could expect. Merely in the pure energy of the fight would he find his freedom. Trunks words kept echoing around his head. _Bastard.. bastard.. egoistic bastard… how dare he say that to me! And how dare HE walk in when my son humiliates me like that!_

With a scream of raw rage he threw himself in Kakarotts direction, using all he had, trying to erase everything that kept bothering him. _So what if Trunks hates me.. I can cope with that! I don't need anybody! I NEVER needed anybody_. An he chose to ignore the tiny sibilant voice inside his head that spoke from the deepest and darkest parts of his soul, maliciously whispering: _"Of course you never needed anybody, little princeling..!"_, he just threw all his power into one huge assault and blasted the younger saiyajin a fair hundred feet away. He started to follow but had gravely underestimated the third level super-saiyajin. Son Goku caught himself in mid-air, lightning fast turning to the attacking prince, ducking beneath him and coming up behind him, catching his body in a vice-grip. Vejita's ki nearly exploded, but he was not able to free himself, not with all his effort. He detested it, loathed it, HATED it… not being free, not being superior_, I can't loose to him again, I can't, I have to win_, he HATED Kakarott for always being stronger. He clenched his fists and pumped every ounce of power into his veins until he nearly burst but he could not break his captors steel-grip. And then he heard Kakarott ask him in a very calm voice: 

"Why are you so mad, Vejita?" 

Vejita laughed a very strange staccato laughter, releasing the tension into a scary chuckle and pretended to stop trying to escape. He felt Kakarotts relax his grip for the faintest part. 

"What's wrong with you, Vejita? I sense this strange darkness in your ki... something is eating away at you. Tell me what it is. We are companions in arms at least, aren't we…?" 

Vegeta viciously growled. _No, we're not!_ Carefully he locked the door to his emotions. He always had shared a strangely powerful emotional link to Kakarott, the only left pure-blooded saiyajin in the damn whole universe except himself, and it had gotten even stronger after they had fused. It had sometimes gotten so strong that he had been able to sense the other's feelings over a distance of many miles. He had found that extremely annoying at times, but since Kakarott had never learned how to correctly block his telepathic broadcasts, and Vejita was the last to teach him, he was literally screaming his emotions into the telepathic ether to any trained telepath like the prince was. Vejita could only guess how much passed through the link in the other direction, but he would rather not take any risks. His thoughts barely touched the memory of the dream he had had the night before.. no, nothing of this was to ooze out through the link, never, under no circumstances. 

"Let me go, you third class baka, or I'll burn a hole right through your non-existent brain, do you understand me?", he hissed furiously. 

"I will, if you promise not to attack me again." 

Unwillingly Vejita nodded. Son Goku's grip loosened and with a sharp hiss the prince pushed away and quickly put as much distance between them as he could. Son Goku's golden hair dropped down and he returned to his normal level, only to find himself opposed to an enraged Vejita, murderous fury in his eyes, who was still powered up to level two and radiating unbelievable strength. Goku brought his hands up pacifying. 

"What is the matter with you? First this horrible argument with Trunks and now this. You are so... cold towards the boy, Vejita... how did you ever get this way? I know that you must have had feelings somewhere in the past! What happened?" 

"Damn idiot, what do you think you know about me? Just shut up, and don't you dare to speak of things that are beyond you simpleminded brain. I am what I am, nothing made me what I am now!. I have always been this way! I am fine being like this! I am.. safe…" 

Vejita's voice trailed off as if he suddenly had realized that he had said something wrong. His expression went carefully blank and as opaquely as stone. Sighing Goku shook his head. 

_Vejita. Arrogant, dead-hearted Vejita. _

_Who did not give a damn about anyone else. Who solemnly lived for his own benefits._

_Vejita, fighting in Freezers services, ruthlessly eliminating millions of lives._

_Vejita, allying himself to the sorcerer Babidi, for the sole purpose of being be able to give in to his desire to fight against Goku._

_Vejita, who never ever let anyone come near him, not even his own son._

_Vejita, always being rigorous and ice-cold, never emitting any sympathy._

_Who would never demand understanding, friendship, nor, laughable thought, love, and was neither willing to give any of this._

_But... but still..._

_Vejita, who had been acting unselfish._

_Who had died to protect the earth._

_Who was, every inch, every ounce, pure pride._

_Who had tried to save his little family._

_Who had screamed in rage and pain when his future son had been killed._

_Who had time after time offered his life to defeat the opponents of the Z-senshi. Whose intelligence and cunning mind had saved them from more than one defeat. Who had very rarely, when he had felt unobserved, smiled down at his baby-son. Who - so very seldom – wore this strangely vulnerable look in his eyes, as if he had been touched by a painful memory. And he had loved Bulma. And he loved Trunks, Goku was absolute certain about that. Vejita was not bad. Goku fully believed that he had to have a good core after all. What had happened in the past to make Vejita the person he was now? Son Goku could clearly see it, a dark shadow lurking inside Vejita, and from time to time completely assimilating him to make him the ruthless mass-murderer he was still feared as. Something was eating away at the smaller saiyajin, had been doing so for many years and as he thought about it, it occurred to him, that whatever it was, had maybe been tamed over the years but had also grown in some way. It was slowly destroying Vejita, and… Son Goku cared. He felt pity. He wanted to.. no, he had to know what it was that kept Vejita from showing his love to his son who so desperately needed it. What made him be the maverick everywhere he went and made him push himself forward without any break, burning with the will to be the strongest, to be better than everyone else. Deep down Goku felt respect for the fiery prince, for his pride and his self-determination and his neverending struggle to move on, despite whatever might get into his way._

Son Goku was brutally ripped out of his thoughts when a vicious punch hit his ribs. In Vejita's eyes there was still a burning rage and the unprepared Goku was thrown into a furious whirl of raging punches. Red fury upon this cowardly assault arose in his mind and with a roar of sheer rage he instantly powered up to SSJ 3. In his head memories whirled and swirled as he launched a counter-attack. 

_Vejita, maliciously laughing as he towers over him, having him caught off guard and thrown down to the floor._

_Bulma, sitting at the kitchen table, silently crying because Vejita has hurt her feelings with one or another of his tactless insults._

_The hurt expression on Trunks childish face as he realizes, that yet again his father won't show up for the play the kid has been chosen to act the leading role in._

_Vejita, releasing an enormous ki-blast and destroying an entire half of the tournament-grounds alongside with thousands of innocent people._

_Vejita, death-cold eyes, folded arms, a cruel smirk on his face…_

With a scream of utter fury Goku launched himself upon the other saiyajin, surprising him completely and crushing his knee into the prince's lower body half. All air was pressed from the lungs of the smaller one as he rose into the air. Son Goku did not even flinch when he appeared behind Vejita, slamming him down to earth. With eyes like blue ice Son Goku collected all his energy in his hands and then released it within a tremendous kamehameha. The great sphere of sizzling energy engulfed Vejita's fragile form, until it completely vanished from sight. 

When the smoke cleared and the debris settled, all walls encircling the area had been completely blown to dust. On the ground in the middle of a gigantic crater lay the lithe form of the prince. Son Goku breathed hard. As his fury was slowly ebbing away his gaze moved down to the small motionless figure. He started to wonder whether he could actually have hurt Vejita. It had been quite a long time since he had released a comparable amount of energy. He had totally let his anger take the lead. Son Goku's heart gave a yelp. _Oh kami... please... he has to be alive…_ Guilt washed over him like a wave rolling over the beach. He had lost control, had allowed the prince to provoke him once again. He should have considered that Vejita could not compete with the third level – having never reached it so far. 

Son Goku knew, that he would never forgive himself if Vejita… 

In an instant he knelt at Vejita's side. Thoroughly relieved he saw the chest of the smaller saiyajin rise and fall in long, but painful and shuddering breaths. The prince was badly injured. One arm seemed to be broken, he had bruises and wounds all over his body and a small dripple of fresh red blood ran down his delicate chin. His eyes were shut, but his lashes seemed to somewhat flutter and he had a hard time inhaling each agonizing breath. Son Goku didn't really know what to do. He knew that Vejita would hate anybody to see him in this condition. But he of course could not just leave the prince to himself. The face of the older saiyajin grimaced in pain, which he would have never shown while fully conscious. Tortured words slowly escaped those blood-stained lips: 

"Inferior… again… please… don't…" 

Son Goku was surprised. He sensed somehow, that the prince did not solemnly refer to their recent fight with this words. His thoughts raced. This might be the one and only chance to find out about Vejita's past. To find out what had made him this dead-hearted bastard. Son Goku did not feel too confident with the thought, though. He knew that there was some kind of link between two saiyajin who were comrades in battle, and that there was a deep emotional... bond between the both of them, which intensified the more time they spent together. He had known Vejita for many years now and he had felt many times what was going on inside the fiery prince. This was exactly why he knew about the shadow lurking inside the prince and this was why he knew that Vejita wasn't all bad. 

But he had a strong suspicion that this intense bond was something very... intimate, and that it would never be granted lightheartedly. To force it... was probably connected with great risks. He did not have the slightest knowledge if, and if yes, how good he would be able to follow along Vejita's's troubled and unconscious mind. But this is the chance! Thoughtfully he gazed down at the still unconscious prince, letting his eyes take in the blood-stained and dusty yet finely chiselled features of his body. Even now, writhed in pain and agony, lying in the dust, the prince remained a picture of unbroken pride, every inch of him announcing that he would rather die than give up. His long flaming hair was dishevelled, blood covered a great part of his skin, his face was a grimace, but still… 

_He is beautiful…_

Son Goku voiced to himself without really thinking. When he got aware of where his thoughts were trailing along, he blushed deeply. 

_Now, why do I… Vejita is badly hurt and all I do… I do… err.. _

Son Goku shook his head. If he wanted to find out about Vejita's past, then this was the time and place. Slowly he knelt down. He did not know how to start, only had a vague idea of what he wanted to do now. He sat down cross-legged beside Vejita. Carefully, so he would not inflict unnecessary pain on the unconscious prince, he lifted Vejita's upper body onto his lap, letting his head rest upon one thigh. Tenderly one hand touched the face of the smaller saiyajin. Then he closed his eyes and concentrated on the link connecting them both. He had anticipated to find vague emotions and a random image maybe, shatters of memories. So he was totally caught unprepared and reacted almost panicky when he felt a dark urge drawing his mind into Vejita's. 

_End Part 1   
tbc… _

_Saaa. Hmmm? How was it? Did you like it? If yes, why haven't you left a review yet?   
*tapps her foot impatiently   
Weeell.. IF you like it you might be glad to hear, that there are already 8 chapters in existence. I only have to translate them. So, IF you leave lots and lots of reviews, this might convince me to do so… faster… But if you DON'T review I won't know that you liked it and I probably will decide that it's not worth it to translate more.. Cause translating sure is dull work and it takes lots of time and patience, I tell ya…! _

_*falls to her knees* Pleaaaase! Review! I am living of comments! Please? Pleaaase? *Son-Goten-Puppy-dog-eyes™ :o)) _

_Dark Serapha _


	2. Part 2: Soul's Agony

**Warnings: **

As always -  lots of angst (I am the angst-master, yes, I am.. *dumdidumm) and rape (I hate to do this – but I had to). This story is epic. Veryyyy long.

**Disclaimer: **

Keep your greedy little hands for yourself! DBZ may not be mine, but if I can't have it, neither will any of you! *bwahahahaha! There is a REASON why I favour Vejita…

**Honours:**

This chapter is brought to you by Azurite (www.azurite.de) , who did a splendid work translating it! Domo Arrigato!

Domo arrigato to everyone who reviewed! You are keeping me alive and (relatively) sane! 

Answers to reviews: 

Kaijin: Well.. err.. okay. At least you did not flame. Sorry, but this will definetely stay yaoi (oh boy.. is this going to be yaoi!!).

Elanya: Eeep.. you frightened me...!! Please don't bite or at least spare my right hand or I won't be able to write on... ;o))

Bobbin: I will. You haven't by any chance red the third chap in german..? *ggg 

MissyThang: Seems like quite a lot of people know "Shadows of the past". Pity that it isn't on ff.net. I have used it for inspiration, yes, but the story turns out quite different in later parts, trust me. Still - I worship Alithiel.. SOTP was my first DBZ-Yaoi-Fic ever and it is the reason why I have fallen for it and started writing on my own...

**Poll:**

I'd like to know: Which name do YOU prefer? "Vegeta" or "Vejita"? 

I am used to "Vegeta". I know, that the proper Japanese spelling translated accurately probably even reads "Bejita". I prefer the sound of "'Jita" to "'Geta". So, which one do you prefer? Do you think I should change the name back to "Vegeta"? I use that for my German fanfics, too. Please tell me in your reviews!

**A/N:**

Lots of inner dialogue, gomen nasai – but to tell you that much, it's still worth reading... I think… 

**„The Darkness Within"**

**Part 2: Soul's Agony**

_Son Goku lost himself.. everything went dark, everything went black.. he drowned in a sea of darkness... Then, suddenly, he was standing on a wide, rocky plain. The wind was blowing harshly over it. The sky was black and laced with foreign lilac streaks. Not a single tree or bush grew on this wide plain. Son Goku looked around cautiously. He was conscious of himself again, but felt that this was not the real world. Some distance away he spotted a figure who was standing with it's back towards him. Slowly, he walked towards it. It was Vejita, as always clad in a royal blue muscle-shirt, blue gi pants fastened with a blue belt, white gloves and boots on his hands and feet. He stared, while he had his arms crossed in his typical posture – and for the first time Son Goku realized how protective this gesture seemed – from weirdly empty eyes into the dark sky and didn't seem to take notice of Goku, who wanted to lay his hand on Vejita's shoulder. But it went smoothly through him, like a breath of mist over solid stone. __Son Goku understood. _

_He was only the spectator here._

_Suddenly the scenery changed. Now they were standing beneath a reddish coloured sky. Three suns were shining down from the canopy and the gravitation had increased suddenly. The walls of a huge palace towered around them. Everything was plain and simple work, functional, but with a great virtuosity that made a certain strict beauty visible in the eye of the beholder. Vejita had changed, too. Instead of an adult man Goku found himself facing a child, five years old in the most. It still had the softness of childhood, though one could already make out the hardness of the warrior of the future. It was athletic and muscular, clad in a simple battle dress which was standard clothing among the Saiyajin, as Goku knew. Grimly the little prince fought the urge to scream as he was being punished mercilessly for one of the many misdeeds one could commit against the strict palace rules._

_A Saiyajin warrior, member of the palace guard, had order to deliver twenty blows with the leather whip to the little prince. Calmly he followed the order of his king. Soon the battle dress was torn to shreds and blood was oozing from the red stria on the small-grown child's back, but it didn't scream. It balled its fists and bit its lips but didn't move. Proud dark eyes gazed unbroken into a world which had never held much compassion for this child. All through its young life, it had been drilled for battle, had never experienced sympathy, least from its relatives, perhaps even less than other children of its combative race. This child was destined to be king of Vejita-sei in the future. It had to be stronger, harder, better than everyone else, otherwise it would not be accepted by its own people._

_All of that Son Goku knew by instinct as he looked at the child that would be Vejita. The child who was destined to rule, to be king… if not…_

_Again, the landscape changed. They were standing in front of a spaceship, beneath the same three suns. Prince Vejita, now five years older and again a bit more hardened, had still not lost all of his childlike appearance. He was however emitting arrogance and he already had the typical feature around his mouth and this scowl on his face, which Son Goku would see so often in later times. Some distance away, Son Goku saw a man - which he could indefinitely identify as Vejita's father, Vejita-no-Ou – talking to a figure which he knew all too well. Freezer. Goku saw the repulse in Vejita's and his father's faces when they were looking at the relatively small reptile being. But the king had made a deal with this monster. A deal of armistice. Vejita-sei would be spared the fate so many other planets had suffered, which Freezer had annihilated in his destructive rage. At least for now. In exchange, besides the fact that the Saiyajin would work for him from now on,  Freezer was given a royal hostage, which he could treat as he wished. The king's own son, the future ruler. Freezer would not have accepted any less. Of course, Son Goku knew about the planet's destiny, about Freezer's treason as he, despite of the deal, had annihilated the planet along with all its inhabitants. Almost all its inhabitants. _

_The king nodded curtly, turned around and left. For his son, his heir, which he had just sold to the reptile for the safety of his planet, he spent neither a word nor another glance. Freezers uncommonly unreadable eyes rested amusedly on the prince for a moment, then he gestured him to follow him into the ship.___

_The scene blurred and suddenly they were in a suite somewhere in the ship. It was large and spacious and furnished luxuriously. On the walls hung trophies of many different creatures, and many of them didn't look like they had been mere animals. Exotic plants and a considerably small amount of steel, cold-looking furniture was spread across the room. The suite was laid out with lush ice-white carpets covering the steel floor, though there was a half-circle of steel in front of one wall left uncovered. A complete difference in flair to all of this made the blood-stained chains that were fixed on that wall. The ten year old prince stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed, his typical arrogant expression on his childlike face. To his big surprise, Son Goku noticed another version of Vejita standing not far away from him, a version of the Vejita that he knew. But he had never seen him like that. The older Saiyajin seemed tense and stiff, his eyes were firmly shut as if he didn't want to see what was going on in front of him. Freezer entered the suite. His gaze slid up and down the young prince's figure and he hissed in satisfaction. As he heard the hiss, the boy slowly turned.  Uncertainty grazed his face for a moment, only to be replaced by the usual arrogance. Freezer slid closer.. _

_„Surely you want to know what I have in mind for you, little prince, after your father sold you to me…"_

_The expression on the young prince's face altered, but didn't change. He was obviously trying not to show his uncertainty. The older version of Vejita held his hands defensively in front of him, as if he wanted to protect his younger self, but obviously he could not move from his place, and his eyes were wide open, just as if something forced him to watch this._

_If Son Goku hadn't known Vejita so well, he would have sworn that it was pure horror he could see in those widely opened eyes, but this was impossible.. this was absurd… Vejita would never tolerate such an emotion… and much less show it…_

_Freezer moved flowingly closer to the young prince. The expression on his reptilian features was unreadable and he had a weird gleam in his eyes._

_ „A Saiyajin only for me...! Little prince.... A spawn of the proudest warrior race in the universe... you surely don't know how much your race is valued among collectors of certain… rarities, or do you, princeling…? Little ape…"_

_Faster than the eyes could follow, Freezer had snatched the long furry tail off the young prince, which had been wrapped around his middle previously, in the usual saiyan manner. As his claws squeezed the sensitive body part brutally, the young prince could not help but moan in pain, while his knees got weak. Freezer grinned even more broadly, if that was possible._

_„You will bow before me, little prince.. You will be my personal slave. I will form you like I want it, I will bend and break you, until you're begging to obey me.. yes… You will beg and scream, but nobody will hear you… You will be my creature wholly, with your body, your mind and your soul, you will be like I want you to be… You will beg me in the end to be how I like it…"_

_Horror and pain mingled in the widely opened eyes of the young prince as Freezer shoved him down brutally, the sensitive tail still in a cruel, hard grip. The boy tried to fight, hit and kicked around, he would not give up without a fight, but Freezer seemed only amused by this resistance. Black, sharp claws sank into the prince's soft sides, ripping his clothing to shreds the size of confetti. Freezer was being exceptionally brutal, and soon the boy's body was covered with many bloody scratches and wounds. Freezer relished the hate and the horror which let the boy tremble uncontrollably in his grip. The little prince was helpless and he knew it, but he didn't stop fighting. Freezer laughed his sinister hoarse reptilian laugh._

_Son Goku wanted to turn from the scene, hot tears running down his cheeks. The scene touched him deeply and left a terrible feeling, like a half-forgotten, horrid memory that was stirring again after a long time. He didn't want to see what would happen, he wanted to help the boy, free him of the monster, but he was powerless, helpless – HELPLESS! He – saviour of the world, hero of the day, who was always able to face any threat… and the older Vejita was in the same situation. His fingers clasped the folds of his pants, he was deathly pale and shivered, but he couldn't avert his gaze, he was compelled to watch what happened there on the floor of the suite, what happened in his memories…_

_After he had tortured his victim for seemingly an eternity, inflicting wounds on him, playing with him, feigning to let him escape just to snatch him again immediately, Freezer flung the young prince on the ground, knelt behind him and..._

_Son Goku felt sick, he bit his fist so he didn't scream out loud, while the monster sank its talons in the boy's shoulders __as he forced himself upon the small body with all his terrible might, revelling in the fulfilling of his perverted lusting while the fragile body beneath him jerked as it was torn from the very inside by the violent thrusts of the cruel reptile. Tears fell from the young prince's eyes, but he didn't scream, he bit his lips until they were bleeding, but he would not scream… until, finally, he mercifully passed out, while his body sagged in unconsciousness, covered over and over in blood and broken, and the last thing Son Goku  heard before the vision vanished was the monster's hoarse laughter and the quiet, unconscious, heart wrenching weeping of a child…_

Son Goku found himself on the training ground again with Vejita's head still lying in his lap. Only Dende-sama knew how much time had passed, but from the sun's position Goku could tell that it was quite a long time that had elapsed while he had been trapped in Vejita's dreadful memories. Tears were still running from his eyes and he felt violently sick. Though a blurry vision he gazed down at the small Saiyajin who was still unconscious.

_Nobody in the world should have to suffer this. Vejita… I… only Kamisama knows – and probably not even he – how often Freezer… what else he did to you… Kami, how long has he been in Freezers… service? It had to be decades… What horror… No wonder he lets nobody get close to him. When he's been carrying the burden of this trauma around since he was a child… I wonder if he ever told anyone… did anyone ever have the patience to listen to him? Gods, how he must have hated Freezer.. I wonder what Freezer meant by bending and forming.. perhaps Freezer made him deliberately become what he is now?_

Son Goku wished that he could somehow take away these memories from Vejita… what would have become of him without this experience? He had been brought up as a warrior from childhood, true, but would he still have been so cold and closed in, if Freezer had not… Gently, he stroked over Vejita's face with his finger, barely touching, tracing whispers of touches among the prince's bloodstained skin. How had the prince been able to be in a relationship at all, after he had encountered such an abuse? It was a miracle that he could put up with Bulma's presence… Suddenly the prince seemed incredibly small and fragile to Son Goku. Someone who had to be protected. Someone whom he wanted to protect. Nobody should ever inflict pain on the prince again. Son Goku had always been able to feel a connection to Vejita, had been concerned about him despite the many swearing and the malice that he had received from him daily. But now… suddenly everything was so much clearer. Son Goku wanted nothing more than to be there for Vejita, to keep him safe.. and at the same time he knew that Vejita would most likely never allow this, that he would kill him if he had even the smallest clue that Son Goku knew something...

Pained, he shook his head as he thought of how often he had stood unbelieving at the side, when Vejita was attacking his foe again and again, with almost suicidal determination, when he, though far inferior, still never had given up without fighting but had always faced his opponent. Even the most terrible injuries, the hardest blows had never managed to keep him on the ground. Now he understood why Vejita strived so desperately to be the best, to not be inferior. He asked himself if Freezer had broken Vejita in the end. He knew the prince only as the most arrogant being in the universe, but he would never have suspected that this could perhaps just have been a façade to conceal, to protect a soul that had been wounded in a way that was far beyond imagination.

Nobody (with the possible exception of Bulma, but she had not been the sweet and caring type, too) had ever showed real affection or love to the prince, he had never experienced care, but the opposites of each. The physical pain, but much more the mental deformations of his mind and his soul must have caused incredible torment for him. No wonder he wasn't able to show his emotions. He had learned the hard way that every emotion was a weakness which would be exploited immediately. Pensively, Goku gazed down at the unmoving prince. Then he picked him up gently and with the prince's motionless form in his arms, he flew back to Capsule Corporation.

Vejita slowly swam back to the surface of the deep unconsciousness that had captured his mind for quite some time. He had some vague memories… awful memories. Shuddering, his self shrank back and buried these memories deeply in the shadow that covered the bigger part of his soul, like he had always done when the memories had overshadowed his dreams. Vejitas self was chained, bound firmly to a bunch of principles which he had had implanted most brutally. He knew he was only safe from what lurked in his soul as long as he followed those principles.

_Never look back._

_Never hook up._

_Never let someone come close._

_Only do what is good for you._

_Never trust anyone except yourself._

Over the years the prince had managed to build up a solid wall around his mind and soul, a wall that shut in and out certain things. He had more than once violated one of this principles – and he had paid for it.

He had become soft... he almost had felt something like love for Bulma, his only companion, but when she died, when the mourning came, he realized that he had let her come too close. And so he closed off this part of his soul forever - as he believed - and as a precaution, he stuffed the emotions he held for his son, which dismayed him deeply, in the same dark corner.

And Kakarott... he nearly had accepted him as a friend, was willing to sacrifice himself for the planet that the other Saiyajin loved so much... and what had he gained from it?

_Death, an ungrateful death and no respect from those he had tried to save with his self-abandonment._

Still, after all those years he could not believe that Kakarott wanted to be his friend like he had assured him again and again. Vejita knew nothing beside hatred and mistrust, and he could not imagine anyone willing to open themselves to give love or friendship to another. Still, he suspected a perfidious plan behind all this cordiality and he instinctively supposed that he would be betrayed and tricked once again if he ever succumbed to the bait of this amiability.

Oh sure, he had looked into Kakarott's soul, more than once during their numerous battles, and all the light in it had made him boggle. He knew deep within that the other Saiyajin was his exact antagonist, light, where he was darkness, good, where evil filled himself, but he blenched from this kindness like a child from a flame when it had burned itself once. He only knew feigned kindness which could change to cruelty immediately when you fell for it.

Vejita emerged from his dreamlike state which bypassed the real unconsciousness to awakening, sighed and stretched himself, only to find himself thrown back into reality again as his injured body protested in several places. 

He opened his eyes and for a moment he was disoriented. Slowly, shreds of memories came back to him…

_The battle... the white rage which had filled out his mind blindingly and releasing as always… a mighty blow… and then darkness._

Beaten... Conquered... DEFEATED... defeated again... Vejita raised his hands in agony and pressed them to his temples. When it came to Kakarott, he ALWAYS was inferior. God, how he hated him…!

_„Shimata!!"_

He couldn't suppress a half agonised, half angry moan and noticed immediately – _why haven't I been aware of the other presence? How could I let my vigilance down like that?_ – that someone neared him concernedly. He knew already before he reopened his eyes that it would be Kakarott who was watching him in this dishonourable situation. The damn baka had an incredible talent for always humiliating Vejita. The concerned expression on the younger one's face didn't help either. Vejita growled loathly, but at the same moment he felt his numerous injuries again. After all, the other Saiyajin had the foresight – lucky for him! – not to say anything. _What has happened? What did he…_

„What the hell happened?" 

Vejita watched him suspiciously as Kakarott put on a shy smile and ran a hand through his hair

„Uh... sorry, Vejita, apparently I've overdone that last ki blast... I wasn't regarding that a kamehameha on SSJ3 is so much stronger..." 

Vejita muttered loathly and his looks bore into Son Goku's eyes as if he wanted to burn out of him what else had happened, but shortly before he wouldn't have been able to look back, the prince closed his eyes and sighed, as if he wanted to ban Son Goku from his vision. Son Goku knew that Vejita suspected something. He would not get away this easily. There would be an aftermath. Nevertheless he could not avoid that pity was present in his gaze as he watched the figure on the bed. He had taken Vejita in his room at Capsule Corporation, inwardly thanking Dende and the kaioshins that Trunks wasn't at home and Bulma's parents weren't there either. He had hoped Vejita's injuries weren't critical, on the other hand he knew how tough the prince could be and supposed a kamehameha could not kill him when neither Boo nor… Freezer – Goku winced inwardly – could do it. In fact, it already seemed strange that Vejita had been out cold for that long. Either Goku had become stronger again, or the prince had let himself go. That matched Son Goku's impression that something was getting to Vejita lately. Now he had an idea of what it could be, but he asked himself why this was becoming a problem just now. Vejita had been carrying this burden for so long… he must have found a way to live with himself or else he would not be among them now. Son Goku mused what he should do. Talk to Vejita? Surely, that was not a good idea. _"Vejita… I know what happened to you…" _He sincerely doubted Vejita would listen to him after the first two sentences, and he didn't want to take this chance. Like so often before, Son Goku wished that Bulma was still alive. He missed his old friend as badly as he missed his wife. She had always been the brain of the group, had always been there for him with her advice. With her it would have been easy to talk about Vejita, of all the Z-senshi she would have been the only one who could have understood him. Piccolo and Kuririn thought of Vejita as the most cold-hearted bastard this side of Namek and surely would never be appreciative of any of those things. It was impossible to burden his sons with things like that, least of it Goten who was momentarily extremely unstable anyway. Telling Trunks about the awful happenings in Vejita's past was out of the question, either. At best the boy would pity his father, which would drive Vejita crazy, at worst he would lose all respect he still held. Goku faced a hopeless situation. His compassionate heart could not be content with leaving everything like it had been before. He wanted to help Vejita but didn't know how to manage this without hurting the smaller Saiyajin even more, or, in the worst case, bringing his labile steadiness crashing down. 

Goku somehow knew Vejita would and could only see the invasion of his mind as treason. Concern and compassion weren't reasons for him to understand. Goku asked himself if there was a way to show Vejita that he wanted to be there for him. 

Pondering, he viewed Vejita who was still lying on the bed, his eyes closed, and suddenly the thought came again, the same which he had thought before he had entered Vejita's emotional world. _"Beautiful…" _Son Goku blushed deeply, he could not help but let his gaze wander over Vejita's body, over his muscles which were clearly visible beneath his clinging shirt. His fine black hair, which usually stood up in its spiky style, covered the pillow, and Vejita's finely chiselled facial features suddenly fascinated Goku very much. Why had he never been aware of this before? No… he stopped himself with a sigh – to be honest with himself, he had always looked upon Vejita with more than merely a battle companion's respect. He had always had the urge to protect Vejita from something, something nameless that only bore the face of their respective opponent at a time. And also, Vejita had more than once stuck up to him. 

_Son Goku stared up to the incredible energy ball forming above his hands. The genkidama was humming with power, he could feel the energy of thousands of beings inside it – and still, it was not enough. The humans on earth didn't trust them, they didn't want to donate their energy, they had experienced too many terrible things. Amazed, Goku watched Vejita jumping up and down enraged and threatening the humans to blast them into next dimension unless they immediately  followed his orders and lifted their hands to the sky. "He wouldn't make a good diplomat…" Goku thought and he somewhat smiled while sweatdropping._

_Now Boo had become aware of them and Goku still hadn't collected enough energy to defeat the demon. As much as he tried, he couldn't think of another way to gain more energy quickly enough. Suddenly a blue-white flash shot past him and towards the demon. Vejita took his typical combat pose with a tense face and a sardonic smile which seemed slightly forced and challenged Boo. Shocked, Son Goku watched. Vejita had not a single chance! He had already died while fighting a weaker form of the same demon, the form he was challenging now was irregularly stronger. If he died again, his existence would be erased completely! Thinking this, Goku felt slightly sick. He tried to imagine a life without Vejita, without all the small taunts, but also without the reliability Vejita's nearly always bad mood brought along. A life without all the small moments where Goku imagined to feel that the older Saiyajin respected him or even needed him – the last other pure blooded member of his race. Son Goku knew that he, although he grew up on earth, was Vejita's last connection to Vejita-sei and his people, the proudest warrior race in the universe. Both of them were like magnets – on one hand they attracted each other, on the other hand they repelled each other if they were turned. Sympathy and antipathy were inevitably wound together, although on Goku's side he felt since long ago that the sympathy outweighed anything else – and there had been brief moments when he could feel almost something like friendship from Vejita's side, friendship and respect – and… yeah, what else…?_

_Ruggedly, Son Goku's thoughts were wrenched from him as a mighty blow from Boo hit Vejita in the back and hurled him away like a doll. He left a long trail as he ground along the earth and finally came to a halt in the middle of a impressively big crater, his body covered with scratches over and over. His hair had returned to its normal black colour. Chunks of rocks covered him and he didn't stir, and Goku's eyes went wide, he wanted to rush at his side and observe what happened, wanted to stand in front of Vejita for protection, but he couldn't – he was still bearing the genkidama and with it the universe's hope for survival. He would've gladly tossed it away because care for Vejita filled him completely, but his sense of responsibility, which had already brought him to death twice, wouldn't let him. Boo neared still more, confidence of victory gleaming in those black eyes which reflected no light, abysmal like tar lakes. Goku shuddered unconsciously because in those eyes he could see the decay of all life. _

_So unlike another pair of eyes, also black as onyx and often cold, but with this sparkle deep within and that odd reflection, as if their bearer wasn't able to look anyone in the eyes for a longer time, for then his soul would be revealed to them.._

_„The eyes are the windows of the soul", Son Goku thought, black eyes, a black soul… But from where came this reflection of an inner fire, smouldering like a secret flame. Proud. Full of passion._

_Boo came still closer and Goku's hope was dwindling. The Genkidama was still not nearly big enough, if he hurled it at Boo now they would not get a second chance. Inwardly, he was on the verge of giving up. He had given all his power and it hadn't been enough. The demon simply was stronger. Son Goku closed his eyes, perhaps for the first time in his life and death willing to surrender and to accept whatever might come for him, when a voice, very well known to him, yet weak pulled him out of his lethargy._

_„What's the matter, Boo? You've already had  enough? You're afraid of me, aren't you?"_

_Disbelief was clearly visible on Son Goku's face, as he, like Boo, looked at the crater from which Vejita had just emerged. The Saiyajin was in a horrific state, one arm hung uselessly, blood was running from both his mouth's sides and Vejita's whole body was covered in stria and wounds. His shirt hung in shreds and Goku's look caught on his back, where, beneath the fresh wounds, huge scars could be seen, and they looked very old. Who had injured Vejita so horribly, so that he was bearing such scars, Goku thought before he became aware of how unbelievable it was that the Prince of all Saiyajin could even stand upright anymore. Boo walked towards the staggering Vejita, his cruel grin showed that he had the sole intention of getting rid of him once and for all. Vejita had no chance, helplessly he was tossed around by Boo, every time hitting the ground harder. His face was contorted in pain but he still kept on fighting grimly. "Boo plays with him like a cat does with a mouse", Son Goku thought and it made him so angry, angry like he maybe had never been before in his whole life. His rage let his ki explode and he knew now somehow he would manage to mobilise enough energy – for protection, for revenge, for Vejita... for Vejita..._

Son Goku still stared at the bed until he realized how regularly the prince's chest was rising and falling, and the tension on his face had fled for once. Vejita had fallen asleep. Astounded, Goku stepped closer. He never thought it possible for Vejita to trust him that much… Or was the prince that badly injured, so that he could not stay awake? Goku knew how quickly Saiyajin could regenerate during sleep. Like that, Vejita's face looked almost peaceful. The fine-chiselled hands rested on the blanket. Hands that could be so cruel, yet looked so gentle. Son Goku took everything in, almost inhaled it, as if he could never again have another opportunity to watch Vejita like this. His high, aristocratic forehead… his muscular arms and his perfect thorax… Unsure, Goku stepped still closer to the bed. He could not cope with all the feelings that came to him so suddenly. It seemed like the vision in Vejita's mind had opened a door, a door to his heart which had only been ajar all the time. He realized how much he always had craved for Vejita's respect, his acceptance and his… sympathy?

Perhaps it even reached back to the time when he learned about his origins, when he had first met Vejita. Since Chichi's death he had not felt like he did now. Cautiously, he placed his hand on the blanket. Slowly he leaned forward… he didn't want to wake Vejita, to destroy the moment. He wanted… to be close to him, in a way he never had been able to share with Chichi. He once more wanted to relish the feeling of completeness, only this time he wanted to be fully aware of it… Slowly, without knowing what he was doing, he lowered his head until he was looking directly in Vejita's face. His heart pounded quickly, fluttered like a caged bird. If Vejita awoke now – he would hate Goku forever… but he simply could not stop, he had no more control over himself. He felt Vejita's breath on his cheek and it almost drove him crazy. He knew this feeling, this desire… he had so often sought fulfilment with Chichi and she had tried to give him what he needed, but somehow it had never been enough… Gently and very slowly he lifted one of his hand to Vejita's face and, almost without touching him at all, traced the contours of his face. This… was this… what he had been craving so deeply and for such a long time? Was there even the smallest chance for Vejita to… feel this way… or even only that he wouldn't kill him at once if he… The hopelessness of his wish almost tore Goku's heart apart and a single tear rolled down his cheek, fell like a crystal drop and landed on the pillow. He felt Vejita's warmth and the peacefulness of his sleep -  and the total opposite to the picture that still hovered before his eyes – almost made him stagger. His reason, which Goku had not followed often anyway, left him completely, and without further thinking, only wanting to escape from this horrible, gnawing desire, he lowered himself slowly, closed his eyes and kissed Vejita's slightly opened lips with infinite tenderness.

The feel of this touch shot through his body like a thousand butterflies and rendered his knees weak. Vejita moved slightly in his sleep and muttered something, and Goku jerked back startled, pressing a hand to his mouth, his eyes wide. _What had he done… How could he take advantage of Vejita's helplessness like that? Had he gone insane? Vejita would never … _The pain of this realization mingled with the still aching desire almost tore Goku's mind. He whirled around and scrambled out of the room, shot up in the air as soon as he had touched the ground outside and raced home, with his hand still pressed to his mouth. Shreds of thoughts raced through his head. – _Why…? How could I… Could it be… that I… love… Vejita? How can this be possible? – _but above all of that he still felt the kiss burning on his lips and further within, where the desire burned like an unholy flame. Goku lost himself in this feeling and the world around him blurred. As he landed in the garden of his house in the woods shortly after, he wasn't even aware how he had got there.

_End of part 2_

_And yet more thanks to my co-translator Azurite. I would not be able to do this without her. Please, everyone, we both need constant encouragement to keep up this work. Translating is hard! Please support the two of us with your reviews! Thank you!_


	3. Part 3: Kiss of Darkness

Author: Dark Serapha

email: Mononokehime@gmx.net

Archive: Yes, but always ask first!

**Warnings:** angst, angst... and... umm... angst? *gg okay, there's also some attempt at humour and slight voyeurism 

This is Yaoi. Male x male love. If you don't like it, why the hell have you red it so far?!?! Baka!

Did I mention that this story contains almost every possible spoiler..?

**A/N**

Thanks to my lovely translator Azurite, and to Rogue who did the grammar and spell-checking for this chapter! I luv ya both!

Dedicated to Azurite, Rogue and Talon Sage. You rock! Always defend the dream… Yaoi forever!

**Disclaimer:** So I don't own them. No reason for you to laugh! I can still do my worst.. *evil grin 

The Darkness Within

Part 3: **„Kiss of Darkness"**

Vejita awoke. He didn't feel Kakarott's presence near him anymore. His ki signature was a fair distance away and Vejita registered with satisfaction that he obviously had gone home. 

_But why the hell did I fall asleep in the first place?_

The thought shot straight through his mind. It was really strange, but near Kakarott his vigilance seemed almost lulled. 

_He wouldn't know the ki-hypnosis, would he?_

No, impossible, this was a way too advanced technique that no low class warrior could possibly master, least of all such an untrained telepath like the earth-grown Saiyajin. Nevertheless, Vejita would have preferred this explanation to every other, because that would imply that maybe … he trusted the younger Saiyajin. He dared not trust anyone, that was absolutely out of question! Trust would always be broken and betrayed, trust was weakness!

Vejita felt weird, like some things had happened lately, which he should definitely remember… He had a strange feeling on his lips and a spot on his pillow was wet, just as if he had been crying while asleep. 

_Oh, no, please! At least not in front of HIM!_

Vejita shuddered and felt how the well-known darkness threatened to overwhelm him. When he gave in to that darkness, he was never able to remember what he had been doing afterwards, and he always felt strung out… It seemed to him as if unknown _things_ lurked within, that watched him with derisive eyes, as if a shadow was creeping around his conscience part of mind, searching for an entrance, and as if this shadow had a hissing voice which made fun of him mercilessly. Once the darkness had overcome him while he was in the middle of a sparring match with Trunks… He had regained his senses when they were leaving the sparring ground, and Trunks had looked at him in a peculiar way, and he had been injured more critically than usual… Vejita hadn't wanted to think about it then – _what if I had…my son…by mistake …-_ nor did he want now.

Vejita heard a door close downstairs and knew Trunks had returned. Bulma's parents were currently on a holiday by the sea for three weeks and wouldn't be back before two or three days. Vejita was still feeling exhausted. Morose, he decided to take a shower and then examine his injuries.

Steam was still rising from his body from the hot water as he eyed himself in the mirror. He had been under the shower for an unusually long time, because he had felt dirty in a way which couldn't be cleaned off so easily. Of course, this did not bring back memories of the long frantic showers of a child which was trying to clean something from the numerous claw marks covering his body, something which would just not wash away.

_Nope, none of that childish humbug, not in the least bit…Yeah. Certainly. Everything is under control. _Confidently he looked at himself through the mirror, his arms folded in front of his muscular chest, most of the superficial wounds already closed and healing.

It never would have crossed Vejita's mind to smile at his reflection. As much as he trained and groomed his body, this was not an action of vanity. Much more, he treated his body like he would treat a precious _sword_, always freshly sharpened and polished. Vejita's body was his weapon, the last barrier, the only thing he could depend on in the end. His body wouldn't disappoint his expectations. And yet… every time he was fighting Kakarott, his body refused to obey. Like today… he had fallen - goddamn - unconscious, like a boy attending the firstblood rite! Things like this always happened with Kakarott. Maybe this was the reason why he was fighting against him so grimly, because it was also a fight against himself.

Clothed only in loose training pants, Vejita walked into the homely kitchen of the extensive complex of rooms which was the Capsule Corporation.

Trunks was nowhere to be seen. Vejita almost sighed. He guessed that he had to solve the issue with the boy. It was… inconvenient, when they had a major quarrel going on.

_Shortly before the final fight with Boo, Vejita tried to concentrate all of his energy. He knew that he would most likely sacrifice himself, that he could not survive this battle, that he did not even want to. All the pain might finally end… Strangely enough he had come to peace with the world which he hoped to save, and now he was waiting for the demon to arrive at the battle ground he had chosen, suddenly a small voice called out his name. Then he saw his son, a child of barely eight years, running towards him, accompanied as always by his best friend Son-Goten, Kakarott's youngest whelp. Before Vejita had gotten over his initial surprise – where did Trunks come from? He had thought him safe with his mother! – the boy clung to Vejita with all the strength a child fearing to lose his father could muster. Frowning, Vejita looked down at the lavender hair which was so very unlike his own, and he felt that the boy was shivering very slightly. Vejita could not recall trying anything like this with his father, Vejiita-no-ou. Obviously, he had spoiled the brat… Vejita felt Boo nearing with every second and fear – real, true fear! – coursed through him as he thought that the demon would hurt his son if he found him here. Frantically he thought it over while Trunks glanced up at his father with a trusting smile on his face, just like he wanted to say: "As long as I'm with my father, nothing can happen to me – my father is the strongest in the world!" This look touched Vejita deeply. He still wanted to tell his son so much, but time was slipping away. Maybe he would never see him again. Vejita knelt down and took his son by the shoulders: _"Trunks… never forget that I am your father, that we're both Saiyajin, spawns of the best warriors in space and that I am proud of you. Look after your mother. I lo… umm… grow strong, my son." _He saw the understanding grow on the childish face, the horror and the grief blooming in the imploring eyes, and before he could decide against it, he dealt a blow to his son's temple as carefully as he could. Trunks doubled over, sagged and lay motionless at his feet. Vejita's heart constricted for a moment – but it was better this way. Goten began to cry and to yell that he wasn't allowed to hurt Trunks, and Vejita silenced him with a blow into his stomach. Taking into account that Goten was Kakarott's son, he tried to not hurt the child more than necessary. Then he gestured at Piccolo who had watched the scene from a distance. The Namek's alien eyes lay on Vejita with an unreadable expression, then he nodded once as a sign for understanding, seized both children, placed them over his shoulders and flew away without words and without turning back. Unconsciously Trunks was carried away and he didn't see his father die way back then and there… _

Vejita finished his small dinner, which had consisted of six portions of curry, five portions of ramen and other small things, and leaned back. The day left a bad aftertaste, even more so every time he thought it through. Something had _happened_ while he was out cold, he could just feel that. He would have to pay Kakarott a visit tomorrow and try to get the truth out of him. This uncertainty gnawed on Vejita's confidence. He felt extremely uncomfortable when he wasn't in control of the situation.

For some time now he had felt the ki signature of Trunks, who was leaning at the door-case and watching him from under his long lavender tresses which hung in his face. Vejita acknowledged his son's presence and he entered the kitchen. He went straight to the fridge and vanished inside of it almost to the waist, searching for something suitable for dinner. Like all human–saiyan–crossbreeds Trunks had inherited the appetite from his father, even if he was not _that _difficult to sate. Vejita watched him with crossed arms as he balanced a big baguette and one more pot with ramen to the table and began to eat hungrily. Both of them did not say a word. 

Vejita noticed the weariness in his son's face and the hard quality of his mouth which had never been visible so plainly. 

"_When did he become so bitter?"_, he thought. 

After Bulma's death? Or already before? After his mother's death their relation had definitely worsened. Vejita's thoughts stopped as he glanced up and found his son's gaze on him, with a passion that could harbour hatred as well as love. The look in his eyes was so hungry, and that wasn't because the baguette and the ramen hadn't sated his appetite. 

"_What's the matter with you? First this conflict with Trunks and now that. You are so cold to him, Vejita…"_

Vejita knew that his son needed something he could not give him, could not show him. 

Understanding. 

Love. 

Apart from the sparring he had never taken part in the boy's life, always left all of that to Bulma. And when she had died, he indeed had taken care of Trunks' physical needs, but he had never been able to talk to his son about all that had happened or to share his emotions. To Vejita all of this was not new, to be accurate he saw it all too clear, but it was still impossible for him to give up the impermeable wall, built during decades and to take a step towards his son. Not even for Trunks could he give up his coldness, his most effective protection. Over the years, Vejita had seen his son despair over this, and he was sure that the love and admiration Trunks might once have held for him, meanwhile had changed into disappointment and maybe even hatred.

He had not the slightest idea of how his son's life was going and he didn't ask. Trunks was almost grown up and had already for a long time been on his own in all the things which extended the vital topics and the sparring. Vejita didn't see anything weird in this, as he descended from a race who sent even small children to other planets on their own and to complete their mission – usually to rid the planet of its population. Maybe he would never have pondered about this if he had not ended up on this strange planet named Earth, where the parents still watched over their children even if they were already adult and where love and affection were supposed to build the basics for education. He had seen how Bulma had treated their son and he had seen how Kakarott and Kuririn and later Son Gohan did with their children. It had not passed by him unnoticed. Even if he thought many rites and sentimentalities to be absolutely useless, he still had caught himself wishing that he had felt something like that for himself when he was a child – having been able to talk like this with his father or having been comforted once. These fits where short and when he realized them, he suppressed them immediately, but still… It had been enough to let him realize how bad his relationship with Trunks was. And from time to time, deep inside, a sting of regret would fill him. Suddenly he asked:

"How was the performance?"

"What?!?" Trunks looked at him utterly baffled and this unbelieving amazement gave Vejita another sting. 

_Argh. There it is again. Weakness!_

„Well, you did have something at school today, didn't you?" he muttered, actually unwilling to continue the conversation but as always too proud to draw back.

Trunks still looked at him slightly irritated, then lowered his head quickly so that his hair covered his eyes and said:

„It went well. Everyone was impressed." 

Vejita tried to remember what the boy had been doing today. He knew that Trunks had tried to tell him not so long ago. He had been very excited and he had tried to convince Vejita to show up to the event. Vejita had asked him if it had to do anything with fighting, this … umm… "Romeo and Juliet", now he remembered, and as Trunks had tried to explain it to him, he had not even listened to the chattering boy anymore.

"So… did Romeo win against Juliet in the end?", Vejita asked just to be able to say something. It only baffled him more as Trunks first looked at him strangely, and then suddenly and unexpectedly broke into loud laughter. It had a somehow shrill, hysterical undertone, but at least he laughed and somehow, this relieved Vejita.

Trunks wiped a few tears from his eyes and visibly struggled to calm down.

"But tousan, Romeo and Juliet don't fight against each other. They are lovers! It's a very tragic love story by William Shakespeare. They both die in the end."

"Both die? But that's quite a waste, isn't it? Then they couldn't have been very strong. Who kills them?"

Trunks grinned.

"Nobody. Well, not directly, anyways. It's about an intrigue between their families, and in the end Romeo believes that Juliet has died and kills himself. But Juliet was not really dead and as she sees Romeo lying at her feet, deceased, her heart breaks and she kills herself too."

Vejita didn't really understand this weird story.

„She was dead and then again she was not? Did this Shaakspier-guy have dragonballs, too?"

Now Trunks couldn't hold back. Helplessly he broke down, laughing so hard that he almost fell under the table. Vejita looked at him darkly. The question really hadn't been that stupid! He decided to change the topic.

"And whom did you play?" 

Trunks calmed down and proudly puffed out his chest.

"I played Romeo!"

"So you rather killed yourself, instead of taking your woman and get rid of her family when they were in your way?"

"Eh, yes, if you put it like that, but it was the part I had to play."

"Hrmmmpf", was Vejita's only comment. Strangely enough, Trunks didn't look offended by that. He rummaged around in his bags and finally found a videocube in it.

"One of my classmates taped the performance. Want to see?"

Vejita nodded. Trunks put the videocube into the recorder and pressed a button. The flatscreen flickered and the picture appeared. It was a heartbreaking love scene between Romeo and Juliet on a balcony. The pictures had been recorded from the audience and therefore were somewhat shaky, which was why Vejita could not recognize everything immediately.

"Who is that guy in the skirt pining for the girl?" 

„Umm... that's Romeo... well, that's me.....!" 

„What?!? My son wears skirts?"

„That's no skirt! That's a garment! People wore things like this in the past!"

„Don't give me that shit, fellow, I know a skirt when I see one! And tights! And a wig, damn! My son doesn't wear skirts and tights! Don't ever go near that Shaakspier-guy again! My son is no sissy!" Vejita shuddered at this thought, but simultaneously he watched Trunks carefully, hoping he hadn't spoiled everything again.

But Trunks didn't seem upset about his father's words, no, he kept smiling – SMILING! – on. Vejita was, he had to admit, indeed quite pleased. It was a good feeling to see Trunks smile.

Meanwhile Trunks thought inwardly that it had been a good decision not to tell his father that one suggestion had been to play it originally like in Shakespeare's time, where all roles, even the females, had been acted by men. He smiled as he recalled Son Goten's expression as someone suggested him for the role of Juliet…

Later in the evening they watched TV together. Vejita sat stiffly on the carpet, arms crossed as always, while Trunks slouched on the couch. He could sometimes feel curious and a bit helpless looks from his son on his back, just as if Trunks asked himself if his father had really changed his perception and how long this would last. And what could have been the cause. 

Some days later – for a reason he chose to keep unknown, Vejita had hesitated to follow his first thought and visit Kakarott right the next morning – _Discomfort? Or even fear_?? Rubbish, what should he, the prince of all Saiyajin possibly fear?_ Ridiculous! – _Vejita stood up before dawn and prepared to leave the house. He chose his clothing carefully. First he thought about wearing the jeans and the leather jacket he wore at most times, but then – 

_I can as well use the whole damn affair for a sparring session! _

_– _he decided to wear his usual training outfit, the closely fitting dark blue pants and the dark blue shirt. But the gloves and the white boots he left out for good and still put on his black leather jacket while going, because it was still cold outside from the morning breeze. 

Trunks was fast asleep, today his school lessons started off later, and a strange impulse had brought Vejita to leave him a note on the kitchen table. "I'm at Kakarott's for training", was written on it.

Vejita's and Trunks' relationship had visibly improved over the last days, and Vejita had noticed with satisfaction that the deep shadows around Trunks' eyes had faded a bit. He also smiled more often now. 

Vejita was trying for a – even to himself - not really understandable reason, to keep his usual cold demeanour and his hotheadedness down a bit more, and to spend more time with his son. To his surprise he realized how similar Trunks was to him. Though he could see nothing in the boy's hobbies – he had inherited the inventor's spirit from his mother and permanently kept himself busy with technical devices or playing videogames – to his amazement Vejita found that he somehow enjoyed watching his son do whatever he was into at the moment or listening to him when he talked about school. Both trained more frequently together now again, and Vejita had gotten over his injuries from the fight against Kakarott completely and was at full strength again.

Vejita went outside, the sun had just risen and the sky was clear blue. The day promised to be nice. Vejita closed his eyes and breathed in deeply the scent of dewfall, humid soil, grass and trees. The shadows of the past seemed to back away from it all. Did he really want to know what had happened? Just now he actually felt pretty good… at his best, even… But – yes, he needed to know what had happened, only this way he could convince himself that everything was okay – as it should be.

Much slower than his usual speed, Vejita took off and flew conveniently in the direction of Kakarott's house. During the flight he let his eyes wander over the landscape and saw, for the first time after endless pondering of depressing thoughts, the beauty of this planet again. The last time he had noticed it like that had been shortly before Bulma… Vejita didn't want dark thoughts and so he shut this one off quickly. Nevertheless he could not avoid the strange feeling he got for a moment, almost something like pain accompanying the thought that his memory of Bulma was only connected with grief and darkness, though he would rather have recalled the good things, the light that she had been for him.

Soon he reached the house. He landed, went to the door and entered the house after a short knock. But he already knew Kakarott wasn't home. Instead, Son Goten glanced up sleepily from the kitchen table. He was just eating his breakfast, which consisted of ten muffins and a dozen of eggs, while he almost fell asleep over a book with the title "Practical Physics". Obviously he had an important test today and was not really prepared.

Smiling sleepily, he waved at Vejita. By experience he knew exactly why the older Saiyajin had come.

"He's in the mountains, at the waterfall, for morning training! You know the place?" 

Vejita nodded, of course he would find Kakarott everywhere on this planet.

He turned and closed the door behind himself, leaving Son Goten to the cursed physics and an awful fate again.

He could already feel Kakarott's ki signature from far away like a beacon. The connection between them was as strong as it hadn't been for a long time, so strong that Vejita could already feel the other Saiyajin's emotions very clearly from this distance. _Irritation…concern… and… guilt?_ What had happened to the younger one that he was in such emotional turmoil?

Vejita landed silently on the edge of a deep, long valley with steep cliffs, carefully suppressing his aura. Before talking to Kakarott, he wanted to know what had gotten him this upset and irritated. _There wouldn't be a new danger coming for us, would there?_ The sun had just reached the bottom of the valley, where there was a huge waterfall. The river was rushing over the cliffs and fell to the earth in a wide glittering arc, where it drew together in a pond before continuing its way throughout the land. The valley was covered in surprisingly lush vegetation, nourished by the nearby water. Vejita shaded his eyes from the blinding sunlight and looked out for the other Saiyajin. Suddenly he discovered him, he was steadily swimming through the pond. Vejita narrowed his eyes. He could not make out any peril, nothing to explain the turmoil inside the younger saiyajin's emotions that he could feel even more clearly now. 

Vejita already wanted to step out from behind the rock and give himself away, but he suddenly hesitated.

Son Goku swam to the other side of the pond, where a big, smoothly abraded rock lay just below the waterfall, and leaped onto it vigorously. Vejita saw he had been bathing nude. But that wasn't the reason he had hesitated… was it?

_Oh my…_

He watched as Son Goku stood on the rock straddle-legged for a secure foothold and let the waterfall rain upon his shoulders, his face upturned and his eyes closed.

Involuntarily, Vejita's falcon eyes wandered over the younger Saiyajin's muscular frame. Every detail suddenly seemed unnaturally sharp. Every perfectly chiselled muscle was conspicuously visible. Vejita's eyes slid from the marked chin, which was turned upwards relishing the rushing water, over the sinewy neck and broad shoulders and down his mighty torso. From time to time Son Goku moved slightly and the morning sun in combination with the falling water reflected glitteringly with the fine movements of his muscles. Against his will, Vejita's gaze slid further downwards, over the firm, muscle-covered stomach and the slender hips to…

Vejita trembled like under a strong currented impulse. Arousal coursed through him from his head to his toes, as he eyed the incredible body of the man standing down there so completely unguarded. At this very moment, he suddenly understood clearly that the wish to be equal to Kakarott, to finally beat him, to…dominate him – also spread on another level, and had been there all the time. Desire struck from behind, and the strength of the feeling almost swept him off his feet. He wanted this body, this strong spirit full of light, wanted them both for himself, wanted to possess them… and at the same time he wanted to belong to him, to do everything for him, if he only…

_No…_

Was this the reason, this secret desire, the reason for the numerous times he had been beaten by the other warrior? Was this his real weakness? Vejita almost couldn't keep himself down, the force of this realization and the contradiction within had scrambled his conception of the world so thoroughly in a mere second, that nothing remained in its old place.

_No! Please no…_

Terrified at his thoughts and yet almost against his will, Vejita tore his gaze free from this view and sagged against the rock he was hiding behind for a moment. His heart hammered, inexplicable to him, against his ribs in a steady staccato. He felt very warm. He moaned slightly. What were those strange feelings? They did have to be still the after-effects of his injuries, he was probably not fully recovered, he must have hit his head harder than he remembered…

How else could he explain looking at _Kakarott_ THIS way?

It wasn't the fact that it was a man that bothered and terrified Vejita to the core. From his short childhood on Vejita-sei he still knew that the Saiyajin had no problems with same sex pairings. If it served pleasure, they gave themselves to each other, despite the partner's gender. It was actually common that a male Saiyajin lived in a more or less permanent relationship with one or more other men, and only dealt with women for reproduction and vice versa. Bisexuality was standard among the Saiyajin, because monogamy was seen as a hindrance for the aggressive potential of the race. The Saiyajin were a race of extremes, in everything they strived for the highest level, in battle as well as in sex and no morals and taboos should or could restrain them.

So that wasn't the reason for Vejita's unusually trembling knees and the way he suddenly felt weak. Rather, it was the fact that he was thinking such thoughts about the man whom Vejita hated most in the universe – or so he had thought once. 

_Most? Really? Wasn't there someone else? No…no…!_

About someone who was ranked far beneath him and had yet humiliated him time after time, which made the whole thing even more impossible. It was _Kakarott,_ dammit!

And additionally, he was feeling weak right now, a state which he absolutely hated. Just like he had felt weak in Bulma's presence…

These feelings threatened to break his control, and behind the barrier lurked a much deeper, older horror, an absolute fear of physical proximity and dependence, of the touch from someone else…something else…

Vejita found himself behind the rock again, panting heavily and pressing both hands to his temples. Rage about the unexpected weakness mingled with a strong pulling force which Vejita grumblingly acknowledged as desire. Four years had passed since the death of Bulma…

But on the other hand, Vejita acknowledged this longing as not only physical desire. Perhaps he had been feeling this all the time already, since they had met, and had unconsciously and habitually pushed it into that dark part of his soul where the lights of consciousness could never reach it. He had always felt a strong affinity towards the only other pureblood Saiyajin in the universe. Though he also could sometimes sense the feelings or even the thoughts of others, it was never like it was with Kakarott. Remotely, Vejita recalled his childhood on Vejita-sei. It had never been happy - _but he had never been alone_. There were always thousands of shielded but still strong energies which had surrounded him. A feeling he had never forgotten. This had highly contributed to the patriotism of the warrior race and ensured that they always returned to their people.

Later... later he had experienced a kind of loneliness so grim and cruel… Cut off from everything that could comfort his yearning soul… As if they had touched a flame, his thoughts shrank back, long time used to avoiding those parts of his memory.

His heartbeat hadn't calmed down, because every time it slowed, that picture popped up inside his head again – that magnificent body in the middle of crystal clear falling water – and he started to sweat again.

Vejita's mind raced. How should he behave? Just walk down there and act as if nothing had happened? He wanted to fight those feelings… fight against Kakarott… hurt the other, kill him, eliminate the source of his discomfort… one way or the other… demand his rights, he was the prince of the Saiyajin and it was his right to take what he liked, his birthright, to force him, cauterise that weakness inside him, singe it, hot-dark-dark, darkness… darkness…

The familiar darkness was near again, and Vejita had to concentrate very hard not to lose himself in it. With sheer impossible effort he took control of himself again,

_Don't think about it…God, what am I doing…I cannot…must not…I'm feeling sick…_

and his heartbeat calmed down slowly. Vejita fought a tough lonely battle against himself and the darkness behind that rock, but his control had always been outstanding and he won that battle. For now.

As he had set his mind into the usual numb coldness and rebuilt the barrier as good as possible, he stood up, dusted himself off and looked down into the valley.

Obviously, Kakarott had finished swimming, because he sprang back into the pond gracefully, swam back to the shore and went to a plain rock where he had discarded his clothing. The sight of the sun glistening on the wet body caused Vejita's control to crack dangerously once again, but by then Kakarott was already fully clothed. He wore his usual orange gi, adorned with blue shirt, wristbands and sash.

He roughly combed his hair with his fingers and then sat down on some old log to have the sun dry his body and to bask in her glorious rays. Vejita stood still for some more minutes, mainly to allow himself to regain his countenance, but also because he was somewhat frozen to the spot, staring. Finally he braced himself, emerged from behind the rock and seized the suppression of his aura. At once Son Goku's head snapped up, his eyes became mere slits, then he blinked and stared at Vejita with something akin to – awkwardness or even embarrassment, as if he had been caught doing something private. Vejita frowned – _who caught whom here?_ – and furthermore descended floatingly down towards his prey, arms folded and smiling as sardonically as he could muster. 

Son Goku felt the strong ki-signature immediately when it came to life like a flame in the night. Without hesitation he knew who that signature belonged to and he unwillingly started to blush. Feeling it so suddenly could only mean one thing – Vejita must have suppressed it before. And that could mean that the prince had been there for quite some time now, invisible to him. Frowning Goku tried to remember what he had been doing and his blush intensified, as he imagined Vejita secretly watching him from the shadows. The image alone was kind of... arousing to him, but one look at Vejitas scowling face cleared the haze and made him reconsider. 

_Why ever should he of all people want to watch me while I'm swimming?_

What he needed now more than anything was a calm mind, because if he knew one thing, it was that the prince had not to shoot the breeze.

Actually he had dreaded this encounter much, much earlier. But that didn't help at all to prepare him for what he was yet to meet. His feelings considering the prince were more than confused and he was quite thankful towards the older Saiyajin for taking his time to come around – even if another part of him had longed to see Vejita again. But his intuition had clearly told him that Vejita would not simply forget about those incidents. He had spent days and nights on the single question if and how he should approach the prince concerning this matter. On the rare occasions that he found sleep he had terrible nightmares. In his dreams Vejita was running from something invisible yet dreadful. Sometimes the hidden stalker would wear a face and that was even worse – for it was Gokus own...

Vejita awkwardly touched down beside the log Goku was seated on. Goku held his breath. Vejita was wearing his usual tight spandex outfit, a black leather jacket thrown over casually. He radiated so much power, passion and some strange kind of animalistic sensuousness that Goku grew nauseous just by looking at him. He guessed that his link to Vejita might have some to do with the cause. Normally the adept telepath would block everything that could pass through their bond, but in moments of great distress something would leap through nevertheless. If Son Goku concentrated really hard when Vejitas shields were lowered like now, he was able to feel what the other felt. His intuition told him that Vejita was having a hard time controlling his temper. He wondered why exactly had the prince pissed off so royally. 

_It.. it wasn't what I did back then, was it..? Oh, I hope not…_

He couldn't really be sure what the emotions he sensed were – it could be anything from rage to despair to grief. But he had a feeling that the strength of their bond had increased since his little journey into the nightmares of the saiyan prince. It was as if he had unintentionally crushed some scarcely closed door. If he just concentrated enough he could actually feel the pain… and the rage...

_Oh my kami... he knows! __He knows what I have done.. It can't be anything else... Does he know about my trip into his mind.. or even abut the other... thing... The... kiss...?_

Vejita stood there, arms folded sternly, his endless onyx eyes, cold as the semi-precious stone they had the colour of, bore into Goku's, who could not withstand that particular glare. He had grown accustomed to various Vejita-glares over the years, but this one was... different. His cheeks were still faintly tinted red and his heart was pounding full force.

Vejita remained silent. After another awkward look he unexpectedly settled down beside Son Goku on the log. His silence was so disturbing that Goku even forgot about his fear of Vejita to have revealed what he had done and kept staring openly at the prince.

Again he recognized that inner flame burning bright behind those dark eyes. It was as if Vejita was consumed by those flames. His temper had always been a dangerous one, just like the determination with which he had set himself upon the task of surpassing Goku by challenging him again and again. It was that inner fire that kept Goku fascinated and even lured him towards Vejita like a child would be lured by a flame, thinking it to be a beautiful flower, waiting to be explored – and instinctively retreating, as it feels the heat. Torn apart between the longing to touch and the feeling of danger… 

All his conscious thoughts, all his sorrows and feelings of guilt slowly ebbed away from him in this one moment in time when the two last Saiyajin were sitting side by side, almost at peace. Almost. Son Goku felt his heart tug painfully as he wished that the flame enlightening Vejitas fiery eyes would be his, would warm him instead of the icy glares he usually received from the cold prince. 

_If only.. if.._

„You do know why I am here, don't you?"

Shocked to the core Son Goku desperately tried to regain his fake pose of calmness and answer the question without giving anything away. Yet he found it impossible to fake his usual cheerful naivety.

"Uh.. What do you mean?"

Vejita moved closer and looked Goku straight in the eye as if he wanted to cross examine him.

"Don't you dare! Don't play the fool with me again, Kakarot! I don't fall for it. You may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but you know – exactly – what I mean!"

Son Goku gulped and lowered his eyes. That hurt. He should by all means have been used to this sort of insults from his prince's sharp tongue – _tongue... mouth... soft and warm... inviting… __NO! Don't... __think... of... that…_, but today it seemed so much more difficult to deal with it. Worse than ever before. He drew a deep breath. 

„I.. don't quite know what you are hinting at, Vejita…"

Vejita snarled. 

„I „hint" as you so nicely put it, at what happened four days back, baka, what else! I don't know what has happened yet, but I feel that something is wrong! I feel it, shimata! And I want to know, what it is! So spill it out or else.. 

For a few moments Goku was feeling immensely relieved at the news that Vejita did not remember anything in detail. 

_He does not know! He… is not sure... I'm not doomed yet!_

Vejitas glare however spoke of something else. The danger was not over yet.

"No.. nothing! I have no idea what you are talking about, Vejita! What happened was just that I miscalculated and hit you real bad. You went down and I took you back to Capsule Corps. That's all."

Vejita still came closer and gripped him by the collar. Goku wanted to retreat and yet he wanted to embrace the prince at the same time. His mind struggled between the two possibilities – a vicious circle he could not escape. Goku felt the last bit of self restraint go overboard as he overloaded due to the tornado in his mind. Vejitas very own scent tickled his nose. A wild animal mixed with the smell of the sea at a stormy day and even beneath those was a layer of scent that was purely Vejita – something different from anything else, that belonged to the prince like his fingerprint. The scent and Vejitas rough touch made him snap. His brains shut down, his body took over and instead of retreating he leaned forward and fully kissed Vejita on the lips while embracing him tightly.

In the first moments of that kiss he felt nothing but pure bliss from that gracious softness and sensuous warmth, he felt the feeling of the kiss vibrate through every nerve of his body. He basked in the feeling of completion as his whole body seemed to catch fire. Unconsciously his mind reached out and touched Vejitas mind in search for an answer. Vejita sad frozen. Goku opened his eyes, looking at him while hopefully, blindly reaching out for their bond at the same time. Then he saw those eyes widen in shock and he knew at once that he just made a terrible mistake. 

Vejita was still trying to calm down, but the emotions whirling around inside him made him more aggressive towards Kakarott than he had intended. Unnerved of his elusions, his shifting, he seized the other's collar, willing to end this charade and force the baka to tell him the truth already, as he saw his eyes close suddenly and while he still wondered about that strange expression on the younger saiyajin's face, he was leaning towards Vejita and kissing him. Vejita froze and his wits left him. For a moment he only felt the touch of soft lips on his own and an unknown warmth flooded through him.

Then shock lashed through him as he realized, REALIZED, what had just happened, what was still happening. 

_What… how… how dare he! What the hell…?_

A cold voice inside his mind laughed hissingly and spoke: _"So you found a master to tame you again, princeling?"_

Vejita had never been so close to another Saiyajin deliberately, and he had not foreseen the consequences of such a touch. Suddenly the telepathic thread between them was fully open and Vejita could see directly into Kakarott's unshielded mind. There, beneath layers of arousal, confusion and sympathy – he saw himself. He saw the pictures which Goku couldn't forget, felt the pain and the compassion, saw his past, Freezer, his own tremendous humiliation. Vejita turned pale as he tried to understand the whirling pictures in the other saiyajin's mind, but again and again he saw only himself, reflecting a thousand times like in a prism, caught, humiliated, helpless, bloody, abused. And his mind broke.

Vejita's self was flooded by shock and hatred so suddenly, that it whirled away, directly into the darkness which had been waiting for kami-knows-how-long for this one chance at the borders of his conscience. Vejita fell into a black abyss, pursued by hissing, derisive voices, with long forgotten pictures before his eyes. Everything he had edged out for such a long time now suddenly overflowed his perception, as if the kiss had opened a lock within him. His mind couldn't cope with this incredible burden and fled into the deepest depths of blackness to escape from itself. The darkness had taken over.

„Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

His ki exploded while he was still imprisoned in Kakarott's embrace, and his hatred-filled, incredibly desperate scream was so loud that the sonic waves alone made the waterfall disperse to fog, and forced the river's water to flow upwards instead of downwards. His energy was so enormous that the whole valley exploded, chunks of rock big as houses were flying through the air and a crater with the diameter of several kilometres was all that was left. 

And Vejita's energy was still increasing. 

_A kiss had awoken the sleeping prince – and along with that maybe sealed his and the world's fate._

**End Part 3**


	4. Request to my readers

Request to my readers  
  
Hello minna-san :o))),  
  
I`m writing this because I got some very nice mails and reviews on this story asking me to continue soon. Thanks to anyone who reviewed! Your reviews keep me alive and (relatively *snicker*) sane. I appreciate each and every single one very much!  
  
As those of you who actually read the authors notes *snickers* might know, I`m a german writer and "The darkness within" is the translation of my story "Schattenseele". Of "Schattenseele" already 9 chapters are in existence, 3 of which have been translated yet.  
  
As I don`t have much time to do the translating beside writing my stories, most of it has been done by my good friend and excellent translator Azurite.  
  
Now I feel that her hard work is probably not cherished enough.  
  
So, I would like to ask all of you who like this story and want to see how it continues to either leave a review or write a mail to azurite@aon.at, cheering Azurite on. I hope that this will cheer her up and encourage her to keep up the good work and translate more of my fic soon.  
  
Domo arrigato gozaimasu to all of you who answer to this request ^.^  
  
Your`s truly half fallen angel  
  
Dark Serapha 


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